Not from trees, but close

03 31 2008 - 1:14 pm. Category: work

So I've been reading a few tax newsletters that get sent to everyone at work. There was actually something interesting things in the last couple:

Payments that an individual received from her ex-husband pursuant to a court order were taxable alimony. The divorce court's order unambiguously stated that the ex-husband's payment obligation would end upon his ex-wife's death.

Here's my thing... If you get a divorce, you are electing to be individuals who are no longer tied together. So why in the world do exes get alimony? I can understand a wife receiving a couple years of alimony while she establishes herself, IF she was dependent on her ex-husband's income and did not generate her own to a sustainable and livable level. Which is probably why it was created back in the day when women weren't allowed to put on a pants suit. But until she dies? That's just ridiculous.

Second, the stimulous payments are officially on a timetable now. The date you receive a payment is based on your SSN. I get mine first! Double zero ftw! And I set up for direct deposit. Now that I think about it... my Oregon return still hasn't been processed... There is also a estimated economic stimulus payment calculator.

And get this... the government is spending millions of dollars to "stimulate the economy." Well, the IRS has already spent several million dollars on a public education campaign consisting of mailings telling people what exactly the stimulus check is and how to get it. Congress got a little peeved about that. But apparenly the IRS is receiving about 50,000 phone calls a day from people who can't wrap their head around the idea of getting a check from the government and spending it, so I can understand them wanting to answer a few questions before they get the calls.

And still, for some reason, I kind of like the idea of working for the IRS in the future.

Entertainment Expense

03 28 2008 - 09:52 am. Category: misc

After not bothering to pick it up for a couple weeks, I've given up on Then We Came to the End. In fact, it got to the point that I would think "I should read" but then I'd remember what I was currently reading and move on to something more entertaining.

I've moved on to Lewis Black's Nothing's Sacred. So far, after two 40-minute rides to work, it's wonderful. I'm glad to say that so far my favorite comedian is performing well in written form. It's a lot like his stand up, but more about his life is in it as well as his commentaries on society at large. I completely don't pay attention to how long my ride is taking or the people riding with me. Two things I usually do a lot of since I'm hungry and want to get to my granola bar in my desk and I'm an avid people watcher.

In other news, I had a crap day at work yesterday (me = fail), so I went to the mall at lunch. My original goal was to pick up a blazer, but I ended up getting a Nintendo DS instead. I've been thinking about it for a while and finally caved. I bought Lego Starwars original trilogy, but it doesn't use the stylist much so I went back and picked up Zelda. It's pretty kick-ass.

Of course, since Boyfriend and I have a standing rule that if one of us gets ourselves a present the other one does too, he went and picked up Guitar Hero for the Wii. That game is a lot of fun. What is the result of all this? The following equation:

DS + Guitar Hero - motivation to "work" = forgot to mail grad invitations again

It is so past curfew!

03 26 2008 - 08:32 am. Category: misc

Where have I been you ask? Or you would, if the "you" that I constantly talk to, who most people would call readers, actually existed. I was away visiting Vancouver, B.C. where they don't believe in protected left turns. But rather than actually tell you what went on, I'll just link you to boyfriend's blog because he already did. There are even pictures! Some are scandalous, you should definitely take a look.

In other news, I spent part of last night folding graduation announcements and getting those all ready to mail out. A month and a half and I'm I'll be all grown up and hopefully have a secure job already.

R U Around?

03 20 2008 - 3:27 pm. Category: misc

That's the email subject I got from John today. Oddly informal and internet-speak for a professor, but that's John's style. He definitely showed me how things work when I first came into his class. Now he's my go-to for any accounting or advising question, and I hope someday he'll be a peer. I got the email asking me if I was on campus, which I'm not. So then I got this:

I meant to tell you after class yesterday and would rather tell you in person, but... we've selected you as our top accounting student for 2008. Congratulations! The award is really an OSCPA award and you will be recognized at the OSCPA Circle of Excellence dinner on May 7 and at the end of the year student awards reception.

Derek, good job, well deserved!

So it's unclear whether this is for the year 2008, or for 2008 graduates. Still freaking awesome though. I can do well in class, but I don't think I do nearly as well as other students when it comes to the networking/sociability side of accounting.

And my boss said he reported me as a trouble maker to John earlier today.

Slow down, you move to fast

03 18 2008 - 7:44 pm. Category: work

Have you ever done something too fast? Does it worry you when you do? There are a couple of partners who consistently put budget hours on each return for the preparers. I still don't know if they are just incredibly generous, hoping to bill the client a lot, or if I'm missing something vital. When something is budged for 2.5 hours and I sit and do it in 1.33, I fear I've missed something. That something is going to result in one of the aforementioned phone calls summoning me to a partners office. It just makes me worry.

I was about to write that I don't reccomend reading Then We Came to the End, but in obtaining the Amazon link I went and read a review and I've changed my mind. I made it to page 118 a week ago and haven't had the urge to pick it up since, but after taking a look at the reviews on Amazon, I'm gonna keep going with it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Do you like the drop cap? The content for this post might be a little lame, but I came across the CSS for the drop cap today and I wanted to test it out. Let me know what you think.

Thank You for the Music

03 17 2008 - 2:57 pm. Category: misc

Ola Brunkert, the drummer from ABBA died today. They have some of the funnest most fun music out there imo.

In other news, this Thursday I'll be leaving for Vancouver, B.C.! Thank the gods spring break is almost here.

For one last completely unassociated thing, WriteSomething is an interesting read and concept.

Watch Your Back Folks

03 15 2008 - 12:36 pm. Category: misc

The Ides of March are upon us!

Brutus as always been a hero of mine. After all, he was "the noblest roman of them all." I read Julius Caesar in high school and have honored the day ever since. And to give credit where credit is do, I used a google image search to steal the picture from this page.

Two "holidays" in a row! What is the world coming to!?

3.1415926535897932...

03 14 2008 - 08:30 am. Category: misc

Happy Pi Day everyone!

Cube Tour!

03 12 2008 - 1:41 pm. Category: work

Now that I've settled into work a little bit, it's time to show you were I park my ass for 20ish hours during the week! I'm sorry that the picture isn't spectacular, but I felt a little weird taking pictures of my cubicle at work so had to snatch it when no one was around.


1. My overhead cabinets! They have old tax reference manuals and the current ones for 2007. There is also a phone book and where I put my coffee mug once I'm done with it. Underneath it is a light for my desk that has adjustable brightness. Pretty damn nifty imo.

2. Notes! All the stuff I reference a lot like a conversion of 10 minutes to 0.17 hours for input in our time clock system, codes for the time clock system, an office map showing people's locations and names, and how to do the input on a couple sheets of returns.

3. A small, probably level 1, return that is waiting for me to do it. To the left of that you can see a stack with an identical golden paper on tap, that is a larger level two.

4. My duel monitor deliciousness! I can have the tax return up on the right, and all the scanned source documents up on the left! I pretty much love it.

5. My phone. This is the beast from which voices will say "Derek, can I see you in my office to discuss this return." It also makes this annoying beep first. I got a voice mail once!

6. My calculator! I hardly use it since everything is on the computer. I've only done two returns by hand and had to use tapes so far. I sat struggling with the damn thing trying to get it to multiply FOREVER. Then Isaac showed up and showed me how to do it. Instead of doing the * key for a total like addition and subtraction, you actually use the = key. Go figure.

7. I have an inbox! I didn't even notice the thing until Isaac was on one of his routine visits and pulled a paper out of it and gave it to me. I walk past the thing constantly and never paid it any mind.
8. My recycle bin! Full of confidential client information! And lots of sticky notes from me, and a bitch-ton of adding machine tape trying to get my stupid calculator to multiply and print the result.


here's a closeup of my work station. The key elements being: duel monitors, the stack of various-sized sticky notes for making various sized notations, my bendy smiley face pirate guardian, and the sticky notes on my monitor reminding me how to do certain things, or just reminding me that I actually need to do them.

Office Paper Clips
important to a level you don't even know

03 07 2008 - 12:33 am. Category: work

Dealing with numbers and filing taxes and becoming an accountant, you think I would be a rational human being. Wrong. I'm a paper clip racist.

I have a zero level of tolerance for paper clips with a colored plastic coating on them. For one, it makes them bulky and I just can't handle the plastic. And they don't match. Incongruent office supplies are likely what's going to send me over the edge in another thirty years. The same goes for thumb tacks now that I think about it.

So I throw them away when I encounter them and don't keep any at my desk. Anytime paperwork passes through my cubicle (another post for another day just to cover my feelings towards cubicles) and has one, I replace it with a good one. A superior one. A simple metal paper clip.

I ordered Microsoft Office Ultimate 2007 via The Ultimate Steal. Kick ass. I've been wanting to play with it, and going into business I'll need to know my way around it as soon as 2003 starts to really disappear.

UPDATE: Caroline stumbled me these paper clips to question my no-color, only-metal "p-c racism." I like these ones. They're hella cool. Metal colored paper clips are nice, but always too cool to use. Fun to have on your desk, but would you ever waste these on a document you'll never see again?



I have some nice metallic colored ones in my desk somewhere actually, I've never used them for that very reason. As far as usability it has to be the hardy, standard, shiny, metal clips (preferably large ones not small).

Oh noes

03 05 2008 - 8:17 pm. Category: misc

I think so much crap has accumulated under my laptop's keyboard that letters are slowly giving up. You already heard about zero, and now D isn't working well. I have to pound it. My regular typing just gets a non-response. This is even more important seeing as my name starts with a D and is in quite a few of my logins for email and such. Other keys are going out too, but I can't remember them.

I really need a can of air, and may have to go all-out and perform a laptop operation. For every D in this post, I let out a little growl of frustration.

When you think about it, keyboards (that tried to be "keyboars" but I fixed it) really are one of the nastiest things you deal with every day.

Jetzt regnet es

03 03 2008 - 12:54 pm. Category: misc

Argghhh.... There is some particle of nastiness stuck under the 0 key on my laptop, it continually messes up my typing. And I am a frequent user of 0 and ), seeing as I'm an accountant and a tangent lover. Where's a can of air when you need it.

I never have a can handy when there is an invading spider either.
In other news, I'm horribly bad at predicting the weather. Sunday was sunny and decently warm, so today I threw on a t-shirt and a light track jacket figuring I'm good-to-go. Wrong. It's cold, wet, and it even hailed a little bit. Typical Oregon, so why am I surprised? Rule #53 of Oregon: ALWAYS expect rain. Every time I go "oh! weather change!" and change clothes, it turns back on me. Several days of overcast and rain and then I decide to wear a black shirt. What happens? Sun, that's what. Either that or there is something about my Rebel Alliance t-shirt that nature feels just needs to be shined upon. I bet that's it.

I did however get some hopefully interesting and good shots of raindrops on my windshield for photography. We shall have to see.

It Tingled

03 01 2008 - 12:49 pm. Category: misc

The following is an exchange between me and my wife Sarah. This took place yesterday via text message:

Sarah: Happy leap day!
Derek: And it's pay day! double huzzah!
Sarah: And I got my tax return! And it's Friday! Omg.
Derek: Holy shiv! It's the end of the world!
Sarah: Why is it the end of the world? It's awesome!
Derek: Because when absolute awesome is reached the universe implodes with overload
Sarah: Oh wow. That's a lot of awesome! Well I guess I better go spend my money before the world ends. Bed!
Derek: You got one good night's sleep! And don't worry, implosion is fairly painless.
Sarah: Oh good. I would think an implosion of awesome would feel pretty good actually.
Derek: I think you are right!

Yesterday was awesome. I got my first paycheck! Get this... I worked a quarter (a.k.a 1/4 or 25%) of the time everyone here puts in per month. I basically put in enough hours for one week. But my paycheck was still pushing a third (a.k.a 1/3 or 33%) of my total income for last year. Rock!

I had a little sticky note in my novel with the things to blog about. Last night I added "peeing" to it... OH now I remember! On a total sidetrack, I get really uncomfortable when I see guys at urinals doing their business one handed. This happened yesterday in the mall (going to a mall for lunch ftw). The other is usually up on a wall, in a pocket, holding a book, or whatever. This is completely irrational, but it just makes me really unsettled.

Btw, I posted this at work. It's 10:30 and I'm out of returns to do. Lunch gets here in an hour though and I'm just hanging out until then. Having lunch in the conference room with everyone is a definite highlight. That and using the calculator tool in Adobe to insert tapes into PDF files.